Think of all the highly successful people in the world. Some of them may even be an idol of yours. The likelihood is very low for them to be waking up every day, looking in the mirror and saying "blah, I hate myself." Take that into consideration.
Self-Love is a characteristic trait that is commonly found throughout people who lead "successful" lives. Keep in mind "Success" does not mean owning a twenty million dollar home, a few Lamborghinis, and a personal chef. Success is what you pursue for your happiness and freedom.
What is Self Love? How do we achieve it? What are some examples of daily self care? And why is it so gosh darn important!?
Five minutes of your time to read this article and you'll have all my secrets.
Compassion and self-care are cornerstones to leading a successful and happy life. When your inner world is in a whirlwind so goes your outer world. How can you expect to take care of others, when you, yourself, are not taken cared of.
You know on a flight the instructions in case of an emergency where the oxygen masks, those plastic yellow cups with strings and bags attached, come flying down. You're instructed to put your mask on first, before helping anyone else. The reason is, well you can't help your child, your husband, your mother, or neighbor, if you're passed out.
This is a practice of self-love. It's not being selfish. It's taking the steps to make sure you're in a good spot to help others.
Self-Love is also not being selfless. I mean, if you were less of your self than you are not your whole self.
When Steve, your old friend from grade school, comes rummaging around asking for some money to help him out. You're already worried about your own mortgage, you had a new surprise medical bill come in the mail, and you're hosting a birthday party for your daughter tomorrow...it's okay to tell Steve that you can't, at least at this time.
Don't feel bad. Don't beat yourself up. We all want to be heroes. We do. The truth is though, those super-heroes we see on TV, none of them saved the world until their world was in balance.
A balance?... Yes, there is taking self-love too far, which that is not self-love actually. It's being narcissistic, stubborn, egotistical, and a perfectionist.
Why is Self-Love so Important in Today's World?
Let's take talk about the ol' days. Say a farmer's life. One would get up at the crack of dawn, read the newspaper, attend their crops all day, come home, eat dinner, open their mail of three to four envelopes, respectfully respond, talk to his/her family and perhaps get together with their neighbors to than falling asleep to do it all over the next day.
Those times were a bit simpler.
Now, thanks to technology, you have to do everything the farmer does but five times the amount of work in a day. Snail mail has become emails and you get a hundred a day. Cell phones with text messaging, social media, Facebook groups, etc. means you are in contact with more than just your neighbors. You still talk to your best friends from grade school even though you haven't seen each other in decades and live thousands of miles away. These types of relationships were not in existence back in the "ol' days." The newspaper has become the internet. How many stories can you keep up with once? How about all the TV shows you have to gossip about at the workplace? How many new things can your children get into in a day? It's hard to keep up!
Technology has made life easier, but not simpler. You need self-love now more than ever.
Tips on How to Practice Self Love
Every successful person I know has this same routine. They all wake up before everyone else and do the tasks that either fulfills their heart and/or tasks that is needed to be done before the chaos of the house arises, i.e., kids running all over.
1.) Wake Up an Hour Earlier Than You Usually Do.
Take this time to clear your mind or talk with yourself or do the hobby that brings you joy or get some work done on one of your work projects that keeps you ahead.
This will bring less stress to your life and less stress means more room for love.
Also, check out the book "The 5 A.M. Club," by Robin Sharma, it's a self-help book written like a novel but gives you all the tools to know how to make, in this instance, waking up at 5 A.M. a staple in your life and reaping all the benefits.
2.) Slow Down
Time moves fast. Ask yourself, do you want time to move so fast that you don't enjoy the journey? Start to take notice of your time and when things get chaotic, breath and tell yourself to slowwww dowwwwwnn.
3.) Get Rid of Toxic Relationships
There are relationships in your life that are probably bringing you down. It's making you incapable of spreading your wings and allowing you to fly. This might be with a friend, a lover, your work, or even your negative self. Let go. It's only holding you back.
Meditation is a great way to clear your mind and ease your stress. It's one of the most beneficial tools you could use to create self-love.
5.) Yoga/Working-Out and Breathing Exercise.
These can be separated, however, they are powerful tools that can help you center yourself, slow down, and bring yourself aware of your current inner state.
6.) Stop Thinking Negative Thoughts
Here's a big one. And most of us don't even realize how many negative thoughts we give in a single day. Put a penny in a jar, there are even apps for a penny in a jar, point is, put a penny in for every negative thought you have. You will be astonished at how full the jar becomes in so little time.
When a negative thought arises, try to think of the positive. Get more on the glass is half full side than the half empty side.
Affirmations are a great tool in helping you think more positively. I have written a blog already on this topic, so check it out.
7.) Don't Reach for Perfection.
Is anyone in your life perfect? Then why do you hold yourself up to those standards. Have compassion for yourself and know you're just as human as the person standing next to you. Let go of perfection and accept who you are, where you are, and give yourself realistic goals.
There's a running joke in Hollywood that no actor who has received an Academy Award is ever happy with that particular performance. The reason being is it's not perfect in their minds. They always feel like they can do better. The truth is, maybe they could make it better, maybe they can't, however, that actor at one point had to walk away from set and feel happy about their work. That performance that made them happy is what got them an Oscar on their mantel.
That's the point, get to a happy place and then walk away. This is where you'll recognize perfection is not possible. Even then, you'll spend hours, days, years, on a particular project to make it an "inch" better, reaching for perfection, than what it was when you were "happy" with it.
Don't ask if it's perfect. Sure, you can ask if you can do better. Rather, ask yourself, are you happy?
8.) Find Out What You're Goot At and What You're Not.
This relates to a lot especially to the ones who always want to be the "Hero." It's okay if you're not great at everything. No one is. Not even Superman.
This leads to acceptance of one self. Without accepting you can never truly love yourself.
9.) Don't Be Afraid To Ask For Help
This tip goes hand in hand with the last one. It's part of the "hero syndrome."
So many of us fail to ask for help when we need it the most. Understand, as said before, you are not a superhero, you are not perfect, and we all at one point to several points in our lives need help.
When you ask for help, this is the truest act of Self-Love.
The result makes you more of a superhero, more perfect, than ever.
In the bustling modern world Self Love has become more important than ever. Technology has enabled the world move faster and easier, but this does not mean life has become simpler. The everyday tasks have tripled causing more tension than ever for your body and mind.
Get in the habit of waking up earlier to do self-love tasks such as meditate, yoga, exercising, breathing techniques, favorite hobbies or even getting ahead at work.
Don't beat yourself up. Think Positive. Let go of the relationships that are holding you back.
Most important of all, ask for help when you need it.
Practice some of these tips this week and start to feel the immediate results and let me know how you feel.